let’s fuck… :D

And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind
And now all your love is wasted
And then who the hell was I?
And I’m breaking at the britches
And at the end of all your lines

___________________________________________________________________

3/02/10

Distance

There is no distance greater than that between the living and the dead. I have learned this in the most excruciating way. My biggest vice has always been that of allowing people to walk all over me, as I reassure them that everything is alright. Liz Jaroszewski was one of these people. I spent almost a year trying to be there for her at every single one of her downfalls… even whenever she was hurting one of the most harmless people I’ve ever met, I tried to believe in her, but I finally let go the faith that she could be saved. I have torn myself apart since her death, thinking… what if I hadn’t started dating Ryan? What if I had stayed her friend and been there for her whenever she needed it? I, of course, until now… did not think. She would just lie to you. She would just make you cry whenever you were worrying endless nights about her. She would have simply done whatever she pleased without thinking about the consequences or the people she would hurt on the way. I don’t want to hear anyone’s bullshit that she was free soul, and that she was brave because she was always herself and that she needed to be that wild child no matter the consequences. That’s pure bullshit. There is wrong and there is right, and a good majority of the people who I have loved in my life have never known the goddamn difference. She constantly called me a self-proclaimed saint, asking who did I think I was to make decisions for people? I guess I am no one… I just wanted to keep such a beautiful, fragile mind safe… rather than watch it disintegrate to the point where it was worthless and thrown away a cold September night that will always be remembered in my mind… due to two towers burning to the ground and a beautiful girl’s angel glow going dull. You are selfish, Liz… you always were and you ended your life in your final selfish act. You took from everyone you were near like a leech, and in the end… we were all left with nothing… I cannot feel guilty that I was not there for you in the end, because in all honesty… you never wanted me there to begin with. You never wanted anyone. It was all Liz and that is it. That is all it ever would be. And the sad truth is, you fucking hated Liz so much that you killed her. Very poetic. Very Liz.

Lightness

Every day is a constant battle with a condition like depression. I know I am better than I used to be, but I still have to fight to keep my head above water even on my best days. Most days I can take anything, and that is because of one person and one person only. His name is Ryan Trimble. He is the thing that lets me know that there is still goodness in the world even if it seems to have become the most corrupt piece of garbage anyone could ever imagine. Kissing his lips, pushing his hair from his eyes, watching his first hazy smile in the morning… it can only be described as heavenly. I cannot imagine a more beautiful creature. No heaven can overwhelm me the way his presence does. I just wanted to take the time to address my absolute adoration of you, Ryan. You are an angel, and you have changed my life in ways you could never imagine. Every day I smile wide, knowing I will come home to see you and lay beside you. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but whatever it was… It must have been legendary.

allisviolent:

vchinnick:

Add one sexy Ryan pie to this photograph,

and I’d have to honestly say…

that life is pretty damn good right now. <3 =)

HOLY SHIT

I just threw up all over myself from cuteness overload. 

Loves you!

 I love you so much more than you could EVER know<333

Can’t wait to see you tonight. You should def. pick up some coke or pepsi

if you have enough money left.

idk or just come home and cuddle

whatev love you SO MUCH@

Add one sexy Ryan pie to this photograph,

and I’d have to honestly say…

that life is pretty damn good right now. <3 =)

2/21/10

TOM TAYLOR PRESENTS

THE MOSH LIVES 2 TOUR with EMMURE, TERROR, AFTER THE BURIAL, MISS MAY I, THICK AS BLOOD

ALL AGES SHOW

DOORS OPEN AT 5:30PM
TICKETS ARE $15 

3/6/10

allisviolent:

vchinnick:

1. I am so proud of my RyBear. Just type in timberview veterinary hospital on google and you will see why. He is such a great person.
2. I am imagine that if my menstrual period were a person, it would be worse than Snooki and Glenn Beck’s love child.
3. I love Iron & Wine, Elliot Smith, Sea Wolf, and Nick Drake so much.
4. I never feel well physically.
5. I love ryan.
6. I love my life.
7. I love you too Megan Owings. :)

 I LOVE YOU!

I like rice i like rice I like rice

AND
QUESOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

umm…

I’m need to refine my Web 2.0 technique and make it better.

It’s okay for now, but it wasn’t the best I can do and I know it.

We shall see though.

I’m eating some sort of trailmixish type stuff that pedro gave me.

don’t worry, it was in a sealed bag so I won’t turn up with my asshole

bleeding or anything. It’s yummy!

 8. I like your weiner, but my calf and thigh muscles apparently don’t.

LOLZ

1. I am so proud of my RyBear. Just type in timberview veterinary hospital on google and you will see why. He is such a great person.
2. I am imagine that if my menstrual period were a person, it would be worse than Snooki and Glenn Beck’s love child.
3. I love Iron & Wine, Elliot Smith, Sea Wolf, and Nick Drake so much.
4. I never feel well physically.
5. I love ryan.
6. I love my life.
7. I love you too Megan Owings. :)

d00ditsmegg:

it saddens me that no body stuck around long enough to see how much i’ve grown.

All the credit goes to you God <3

thank you for giving me

strength
courage
hope
and love to keep me going.

 I believe in you, and I have faith that you will continually grow, and soon there will be no one in your rear view mirror that you can hold distaste for. You are strong and beautiful, and I love you very much.

check this shit out.

you’ll poop

i guarantee

allisviolent:

…is finally complete.

The website is complete, and is awaiting publishing on the interwebs.

This is my first website to be published on the monster of a wide area network, and I’m fairly excited.

I know that it is not the best, by far (see Google for best website on the internet), but this is what I want to do with myself.

Next term we will be learning about Web Applications and PHP, which is fairly exciting. I’m developing a plan for the long term that includes building a web server.

I want to do this… not this Microsoft Exchange shenanigans.

(Although it is nice to know!)

Oh yeah, and Riley is a puppy!

 Pup rhymes with poop

rhymes with dirheaa

rhymes with heartattack

rhymes with lizards

and lasagna

and foxes

and turtles

and ostrich turkey goats

and SQUIRRELS! :)

I love and miss you!

So proud of you and the website!

You gotta lemme see it tonight!

SO EXCITE!